For her, anything.

Like a dream, she lives in my eyes.

She flaunts her gorgeous strengths like some beautiful flaws, she makes me wonder how can someone be so unknown to their beauty? The beauty which resides in my eyes, open books and there she lives like a dream, she lives in my eyes.

She is like the rejuvenating rain after a long summer, like the drops fall on my face and told me that the hard times are over, like the star which guides you to be happy, the star at which I spend my nights gazing, like those dreams She lives in my eyes.

She is the tear of my happiness, the feeling of completeness when I get home and look at her, Only then; I’m truly home. Maybe she is home. She is the completeness in my life and like that, she lives in my eyes.

I couldn’t ask for more and why should I? I have nothing yet everything because I have someone to share my silence with, that silence we share and love I have. Is the reason she lives like a dream, all day all night, in my eyes.

r.s

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The winds, the love, the Bullet.

Adrenaline and peace; contradictory words, but something I feel all together full fledge at the same time when I ride my enfield. Yes, it’s true what they say and when they say that:

it’s not just a bike, it’s an emotion.

It’s the gateway for forgetting everything and knowing what peace really feels like. Yes you might dirty in the rain or feel the cold strike your spine in the winters and the heat dry the hell out your throat in May but it’s all worth when you revv it and hit the 100 and all your problems and worries and sorrows fade away in the winds that kiss your cheeks and make you grin with happiness. At that moment, in that second it’s just you, just you living the world like you’re meant to be. Yes it’s not a perfect motorcycle, yes it looks outdated and dusty and doesn’t have all the modern features of any other bike but no other bike can beat the feel of driving an enfield, of living with one, of loving one.

– r.s

Finding around 

My response to today’s daily prompt which said – original.

Today’s world is all materialistic; totally and foolishly looking around for acceptance of who they are not instead of accepting who originally they are. Life is too short and it is too easy to look around and become somebody else whereas it’s quite hard to love what you are and show your moonshine- bright yet soft. Love what you are and not what everybody else wants to see. They love what they picture is perfect, and we will find different paths to perfect for every human we cross our way. Make your own path and become your own perfect because there is nothing as beautiful as an – original.

Original

Episode 2 – Monarch. 

Breeze kissing his cheeks as he walked down the slope which leads to his house,
Remembering how he ran in those same streets as a kid, fell down and got up countless times.

How he taught himself to ride a bicycle, and to get up whenever he crashed. As he crossed uncle Kern’s café  which always was the best to have the good tasting cookies he was fond of as a child in this weather. He stopped there only to surprise uncle kern, who was too old to recognize anyone now but he did follow the way Monarch smiled and called him ‘ol’ kern’. Nobody forgets the dorky kid who was thin and kept short hair; who used to get bullied by other kids and always hid behind the cookie showcase praying they don’t catch him. Uncle Kern’s bakery was a synonym of what a perfect bakery and coffee shop could be. Always serving the best coffee and cookies to the customers sitting out in the open garden of his café. As a kid, Monarch was always astonished by the things which were simple yet elegant;  filtered coffee, cookies, swords and knives.

So simple, just a bit of milk and coffee to get the blood running or just a metal which is sharp enough to cut through them. Whatever or whoever it might be.
As usual he drank his coffee and ate those amazing biscuits and went on his way home but the moment he was leaving the old man asked him why he is back  after eleven long years, all Monarch replied to this was: “we all come back home someday, don’t we?” and went out of the café smiling.

Although Valkin did not have anything so special to be missed for, only some thousands of people who live there, live because of the kind of town it was; always quite and mysterious, filled with trees and gardens for kids to play, a kind of town where a man would like to retire and spend rest of his life in.

Monarch used to wear glasses when he was in school, always sitting in the front to study and score good, because that is what his parents wanted. Although he was more curious in the field activities of the school but was always denied the request to participate by Klafh, his father. He had height and color typical to the people belonging to valkin, pale white and about six feet tall and always kept beard long enough to hide his lips. He was fiend when it came to disagreement among his family. He was always bossy and ended his day with two glasses of whisky. He was not the best father and definitely not a good husband and though Oris was always among the kindest women. She was tired and exhausted of the bruises she got everyday after little  Monarch went to sleep, sometimes even when he was awake.

She had the most beautiful eyes, large and blue. As if to teach anybody the deepest darkest secrets of the oceans once they look inside them. Her hair fell down till her waist, dense and black unlike most redheaded women in the town.

He was recalling that day, the one day that changed the  town and life of Monarch.

He was 15, returning from his soccer trials in the evening, the time Klafh usually returns home for supper, But today he was early from work only to find the house being locked as Oris was also out to get some batteries for the torch she bought earlier.

Klafh grew angrier as he waited outside in the harsh heat of his craving for his drink, he grew restless. He waited on the stairs outside his house which was on the road opposite of a small garden for the kids in his locality. He put his gloves and hammer down as he lit up his camel to give him some comfort. After a while he saw Oris returning from the road which was a little steep if an old man tried to walk down from it. “Gorgeous” he whispered to himself as he saw her smiling at him and showing him the batteries from a distance, as if to assure him she was only out because it was urgent.

All the time he waited, Klafh did not think of where his little son was.

Oris came close to her husband and said “let’s go honey, it is too hot to be sitting out”

Klafh nodded in agreement and went in following the love of his life.

As they entered Klafh helped Oris with her bag and coat then rushed in for his drink, only to notice  the house was quite than usual. He wondered where the little one was, not with worry but with anger. He told Oris not to let him out to play for somedays. He went back in the kitchen with his empty glass of whiskey to ask Oris about their son.

He asked, in a way it would make you hide the truth: “Where is he ?”

And Oris just reminding herself what she thought she would say when the time comes, said firmly : “He is out.”

Obviously, a drunk who is restless lost his calm. He threw his glass to the other side of the kitchen making Oris jerk out of horrors to follow.

He held her by the her beautiful black hair, asked her again : “ tell me where he is, and this time answer me with something that would make this less painful for you “

And she shouted in pain  : ” He is out and I ASKED HIM TO GO!”

He removed his hand, went in the other room for the baseball bat he bought to scare and fight if any theif came but today it was for Oris.

Meanwhile, Monarch being happy that he got selected in the team for the tournament, was almost home as he came running to tell this news to his father and mother.

By now Klafh took out all his adrenaline onto Oris, his bat was dripping in red, which got mixed with what was the artificial pink color Oris was putting into her cake for his son.

Oris lying down, unfortunatelty still breathing was saved more pain by the phone that rang in her bedroom, “the dial tone of the phone was never so pleasant” she thought.

Klafh went in to receive to call as he was done beating his wife to pulp. He went in and sat on the bed and receieved the call and the voice on the other side said: “we are here Klafh,  here in your shitty office. Come down here right now or we will make sure you never walk again “. Then the man on the other side hung up, the beep sound after  that made Klafh realise that this isn’t going to be an easy day.

Klafh was always neck down with the wrong people, Klafh sold them the raw version of what his company makes for cough syrups as drugs. Now the demand got larger and Klafh did not see a way to tell them he cannot supply it anymore.

Terrified , Klafh took his coat and as he walked through the corridor he saw Oris sitting on the  floor taking support of the wall in the kitchen with her head up  as if to gather some courage to get on her feet. He said : “ this isn’t over yet,  we will talk after I come back. “

Monarch  now could  see his home, he imaged his mother’s pretty smile which she would have when he will  return home and tell her about his selection in the team. He saw his house and his father walking in a hurry away from his house, he shouted “Father! Is mother home ? “

Klafh avoided even turning his head and answering.

“it is funny how fear makes love a strange feeling”

Little Monarch stood outside for about fifteen minutes trying to reach the doorbell, which he did for six times but his mother did not open the door. Exhausted he tried to open the door by himself and for his surprise he was able to open it, as it weren’t locked by his father. He went in with his dirty soccer shoes shouting : “ mother, I am home “

Meanwhile, Klafh was handed his ultimatum to provide the drug or to give the equivalent amount to it.

“ Give it to us Klafh or we light up this place with you inside it. “ said the henchman.

He promised them to get the money in an hour and started walking back to his home.

He first went to the bedroom without noticing what was in the kitchen, he got a little worried as Oris never made him wait for a minute for his food after he was back from his school.  He got thirsty and went in the kitchen, the table in the center was hiding his mother, as he was not tall enough to see beyond the table, he saw the pinkish red color blood on the floor, coming from beneath the table slowly flowing towards his feet. His heart bursted in shock when he found his mother sitting there, her head up, her feet straight and one hand on her thigh and one hand  on the floor. Her head was hit against a truck which did  not stop after hitting her once. Monarch stood three feet away, he was blank in his mind. He could not register what was happening, what happened to his mother. A  moment ago he saw her smile and how he will never even see her move again. All he could see was  red, and the box of color near her on the floor. He went close to his mother one more time, he held up her arm from her thigh,kept his head on her lap and asked her to wake up. He sang the lullaby she used to sing for him everyday but she wouldn’t wake up. He looked across the room while lying in her lap to see a shattered glass which was his father’s, he got up and ran to tell his father what has happened to his mother, he was scared. He couldn’t think of anything else except for his Oris’s face which was  covered in red. He ran blindly towards his father’s office, only to find him outside walking towards him. He was looking frustrated and tired. He ran into him, he hugged Klafh’s leg and cried : “ father.. mother….mother..”

Klafh lifted him up and went in the house, he saw his crime the moment he entered the house as there were his neighbours waiting for him. One of them saw Klafh hitting Oris with the bat and after little boy went out looking for his father, they got curious and curiousity of the neighbours caught Klafh red handed. As Monarch saw neighbours hold his father he felt something we wish we never have to feel. His mother dead, killed  by his father and he stood there, in the corridor watching his mother lying and the screams of all the people in the house.

Somehow Klafh freed himself from the grasp of the people and ran to his office where the people were waiting for him, he went there empty handed and fell down to his knees in front of the henchman saying “Help me and I will give you what you need. “

Henchman helped him up and whispered in his ear,

“ A man will tell you what you want to hear when he is dying, and that my friend will always be a lie “

And threw him inside the building and started the fire, Klafh ran to every possible way he thought will lead him to his freedom but little did he know, his time to answer to every sin he committed was today. He was burning alive, shouting and crying for help as the people of the town saw this as they stood outside with every eye eventually looking at that one little boy. He stood there, silent as he watched the murderer of his mother cry for help, no tear was shed. He stood there like the only survivor out of a war, a gruesome war. The rage, the fear and the sorrow of everything that happened in one day, it took away his soul to a place far far away.

After some hours, a lot of people left. Some henchmen stayed to check if Klafh was alive and between them was a man, maybe in his early 30’s, he was tall and built like an athelete. He saw the little crying boy in a way we see own reflection in the mirror. All the time, he stood stood there, he was told everything that boy suffered in the past ten hours. The little boy, standing the same way he stood the moment he came there. The man walked upto him and asked “ what is your name little man ? “

The boy, at first said nothing. After a pause he said “ you can call me whatever you want. “

The man was surprised and took the boy’s hand and said “let me help you, tell me what you like.”

The boy said “ soccer. “

The old man said “ alright let’s get some shoes for you then, you would like that won’t you.”

He held his hand and took the boy with him.

“Can you tell me your name now?” He asked with a smile

” Monarch” the little boy answered with a broken voice

“Do you know what your name means?” Asked the man

“the one who conquered everything ” said the boy.

And this name was everything ever since that day.

” what happens in life is never predictable, everything can change in one bad day. ”

One minute of his dream was the day his life changed, what came next gave him some relief.

Death, betrayel and sorrow changed his life, and love showed him hope…

Pilot 

That stranded road was terrifyingly quiet, anybody could hear and feel every drop of the rain falling from the sky.

That rain was heavy; yet comforting reminded him of his mother’s lap in which he always sought the love he thought he wanted. This rain reminded him of all those moments of happiness he spent loving in this rain but tonight he knew it was his last. 

The night of 24th june, he knew he was dying. His will is giving up, every heartbeat was heavy and yet they were slowly fading every minute as he lied there waiting for something he never thought would happen.

How can he forget something he always loved??

His vision was getting blurry, his eyes were closing on their own. He saw that stranded road took a breath and smelled the land which was drenched in the water around him; pinkish red as it were. His blood all over and he thought he might take a minute of rest than to fight the pain so he closed his eyes in acceptance that he won’t be able to open it again. 

And now he could remember.

You know they say how our brain shows us seven minutes of our memory in a dream sequence right when we die? 

And he started remembering one already.. 

SMALL TALES – 1

You know I don’t care now, whatever is gonna happen to me it’s gonna be worth of what I deserve. I look upon the stars with a terrible hope to join them someday, maybe soon enough. I feel different, I have this unrest inside me. The kind you can’t fight, the unstoppable feeling of suffocation. Like something is pulling you inside, your throat becomes heavy you’re unable to say anything. That small amount of pain, it’s so elegant in a way because you’ll never be able to explain it to anyone. It just can be felt not understood. The pain of being heartbroken, of knowing you won’t last long. Of knowing that you can’t be happy, The pain is unparalleled.

Can you love someone so much ?

Do you know how much heartache it needs for someone to get self destructive?

When you’ve opened yourself so much to someone that they know all about you including your vulnerabilities, they know what hurts you and what’s surely going to kill you. Isn’t that amazing ? Leaving your life in someone hands , making yourself beg to not to die because of them? Can you love someone so much that you can be happy if they kill you for their happiness and not see what you’re going through. Yes, love can be that tricky. Love can make you feel like a failure, make you self destruct. It can make you see yourself in a position where dying seems easy than going through what you don’t deserve. 
Being in love is easy, fighting for it is easy. But knowing that you have to suffer with the one you love , to overcome every worse nightmarish situations together is the toughest thing to do. 

That’s what it takes, love doesn’t ask you to fight for it. It ask for your patience, your strength and you obsession with each other to face every thing that comes in way. 

When everything goes fine and suddenly in one day, everything shatters right in front of your eyes. It breaks you, from the deepest portions in your soul to the extend where you see no end to the pain. 

You know what it takes to make yourself self destructive? 

One bad day. 

Yes, it might be going on from a long time but you have hopes, you have your courage, you convince yourself that you can make it work, that you can make it right and you try to put that optimism into your other half but it turns out to the opposite. It kills all your hopes and all your efforts in that one instance. 

You ask yourself the some questions that comes firstly into your heart and they stay there forever. 

WHY ? Why is this happening?  Did I do something wrong? Why me ? 

You ask yourself if it was not my fault then why am I getting punished ? 

The love you have gives you the strength to hold on, to wait and to try again. And again. Because you can’t see youself without something you built with love and cared for it and nurtured it for years. You want it, you don’t understand how but you want it all back. You remember all the little things you both did together to very small details. All those memories, no matter how small they seem to be, they give you strength. Your love gives you strength to be there even if they want to leave, but it doesn’t gives you the power to handle yourself from the thoughts that you’re not needed anymore. That you’re the past for someone you made your future with. That you’re the one in their old books when you are still writing another chapter. After everything, you don’t have any reasons from them and it kills you more. You wonder if you’re not enough for them anymore? 

You provide yourself the false hopes you were once fed , because you love them to the extend that there’s no end to it. You can’t see past them. It’s true that there’s always one person loving other more than they do. You risked everything from them and you never asked anything in return and even after being so selfless all you got was the memories you made together. 

You love them but they don’t want you. It’s the most hurtful thing any one can go through. 

But you still try, everyday. To get them back, to convince them that you can be better. That you can make it work.

You love her, and being self destructive comes as a perk. 




Your absence makes me suffer.

 

Stay, I’ll make it worth.

We all have our stories, we all have our heartbreaks.

It’s been so many years we were together and now look at where we’re heading. We’re parting ways and I can tell that you’re now far gone. I miss you so much I can’t breathe.

I tried my best to let you know that I’ll try again and again to make you happy. I know I was not perfect but I’ll try to be, isn’t that worth staying?  

I didn’t wanna write this as I go along with days filled with tears in my eyes, pain in the chest and a cigarette in my mouth, but I realize how happy you are. It calms me for a minute but then I do not see myself near you and it torns me apart to know that I’m not there to share your happiness or am not the reason for it anymore.

My absence does not haunts you?

Don’t you feel the void in your life?

Don’t you think I deserve a second chance? That WE deserve a second chance?

Am sorry for whatever wrong I unknowingly did. 

 I don’t want to argue, I never wanted to. I made you sad but I don’t know the reason for it, am innocent yet I feel the guilt that you left because of something I did. I always wanted to love you and nothing else, all I demanded was love and nothing else.

I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME AGAIN ! 



Is it too much to ask ?

The unsaid, the unspoken.

THE MELANCHOLY OF AN UNSPOKEN SOUL.

There is no logical explanation to one’s feelings when something saddening happens, regularly. Most of the people have been through such days but there are times when once in a while someone goes so deep, maybe knowingly into a dark abyss that can’t crawl out of their own wall of desolation. The emptiness caused maybe by despondency can hurt someone so bad that it might put them into a state where self destruction and isolation seems to be better than even pulling your lips upto you cheeks an inch. All then that person wants is to get more hurt. To feel more pain and there is no explanation to why someone would want that but they do and then it becomes like an addiction to be alone and sad all the time.

Sometimes life gives us a doldrums,misery and betrayal. There are times when you don’t see any light on the other side. There maybe such time when you find yourself all alone, Maybe that’s when you find the courage to accept and face the reality. And maybe that is when you see who’s who. Maybe that is when you have to find and love yourself the most, because there is only one soul who can love you the most and that’s your own. Be selfish because the world is not generous and the one who says they love you are not altruistic.

 

The life in my soul, or the other way around.

image

Somethings are meant to happen and you can’t deny that.

And before you even realize you are bonded to that soul. Unknowingly, unintentionally and maybe this is why it is pure.
             

                         LOVE? Maybe.
Saying that you ‘love’ someone is enough?

Being in love is great but being loved by the same person back is like finding the fountain of youth to cherish those feelings forever.
The attachment and the intertwining of two souls is maybe the best thing you’ll see and if you are lucky, feel. I’ve been lucky.
Yes some people are lucky to find the happy-moments-maker in their lives.

What is love? – people ask.
Love is when you just get a glimpse of those sparkling eyes and you feel that effervescent in your stomach , everytime.  EVERY DAMN TIME.

When you look at her and realize you are lucky.

When you touch her and it feels nothing less than being in paradise.

When you can be entirely yourself in front of that person,  without giving it second thought.

Because love is something that can’t be expressed in words.